Forgive Yourself

I recently blogged about the Beauty of Forgiveness.

https://ellieholmesauthor.wordpress.com/2017/04/09/the-beauty-of-forgiveness/

That blog spoke about the need to let go of anger and bitterness because nursing old hurts and grievances reverberates negatively within us and ultimately hurts us far more than the original hurt perpetrated against us.

This week I want to talk about forgiveness again but this time a different aspect – forgiving yourself.

We all have instances in our lives where we wish we had said or done something at a particular time but, for whatever reason, we did not. The guilt associated with missed opportunities particularly involving loved ones who are no longer here can be sharp. We know if they were here they would tell us not to worry about it and yet we still beat ourselves up.

Negative Emotions
Emotions Explained by GollyGForce courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/jp8Yf4 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I am not a person who generally holds grudges or nurses bad feelings. I am quick to forgive and yet I do not tend to offer myself the same compassion for my own misdemeanours and transgressions.

Compassion
And May They Rise Up #compassion by Leigh Blackall courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/uwZgLu https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

This is because I hold myself to impossibly high standards. I always expect to excel and should I fall short, I berate myself about it:- I’m not good enough, I didn’t work hard enough etc.,

The trouble is I always reach for the stars and because I am only human, I am consequently setting myself up to fail more often than not. Why is it I always think I can cram so many things into a limited number of hours and wind up feeling tired and dispirited when I haven’t ticked everything off my stuff to do list for instance? Sound familiar?

So I have decided to make a concerted effort not to be so hard on myself in the future, to be a little bit more compassionate and kind to myself as well  as to others. We all fail and make mistakes. It’s how we learn to become better people.

Forgiving myself for such mistakes is a small step but an important one.

Begin Again
Buddha Quote by Hartwig HKD courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/dtMGUq https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

5 thoughts on “Forgive Yourself

  1. Felicia Denise 23/04/2017 / 12:12 pm

    Definitely sounds familiar! We sometimes hold ourselves to impossible standards we would never consider for anyone else. Only recently have I – like you – decided enough already! In the words of my oh-so-wise daughter, I’m getting over myself! 😉

    Good post, Ellie! Enjoy your day!

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    • ellieholmesauthor 23/04/2017 / 1:04 pm

      Thanks Felicia. If either of us start to turn back to old ways we must contact each other for moral support!! Ellie x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Felicia Denise 23/04/2017 / 2:41 pm

        Agreed! 😉

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  2. Adan Ramie 12/06/2017 / 5:43 pm

    I’ve found I’m as able to hold a grudge against myself as I am against others. Hopefully this is a trait I can shed sooner rather than later! Thanks for a thought-provoking post.

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    • ellieholmesauthor 12/06/2017 / 6:16 pm

      I can absolutely relate to this. I am always way harder on myself than I ever am on others. I’ve stuck a post it note up where I can see it that says ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself’ in the hopes I can retrain my brain. Ellie x

      Liked by 1 person

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