Forgive Yourself

I recently blogged about the Beauty of Forgiveness.

https://ellieholmesauthor.wordpress.com/2017/04/09/the-beauty-of-forgiveness/

That blog spoke about the need to let go of anger and bitterness because nursing old hurts and grievances reverberates negatively within us and ultimately hurts us far more than the original hurt perpetrated against us.

This week I want to talk about forgiveness again but this time a different aspect – forgiving yourself.

We all have instances in our lives where we wish we had said or done something at a particular time but, for whatever reason, we did not. The guilt associated with missed opportunities particularly involving loved ones who are no longer here can be sharp. We know if they were here they would tell us not to worry about it and yet we still beat ourselves up.

Negative Emotions
Emotions Explained by GollyGForce courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/jp8Yf4 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I am not a person who generally holds grudges or nurses bad feelings. I am quick to forgive and yet I do not tend to offer myself the same compassion for my own misdemeanours and transgressions.

Compassion
And May They Rise Up #compassion by Leigh Blackall courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/uwZgLu https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

This is because I hold myself to impossibly high standards. I always expect to excel and should I fall short, I berate myself about it:- I’m not good enough, I didn’t work hard enough etc.,

The trouble is I always reach for the stars and because I am only human, I am consequently setting myself up to fail more often than not. Why is it I always think I can cram so many things into a limited number of hours and wind up feeling tired and dispirited when I haven’t ticked everything off my stuff to do list for instance? Sound familiar?

So I have decided to make a concerted effort not to be so hard on myself in the future, to be a little bit more compassionate and kind to myself as well  as to others. We all fail and make mistakes. It’s how we learn to become better people.

Forgiving myself for such mistakes is a small step but an important one.

Begin Again
Buddha Quote by Hartwig HKD courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/dtMGUq https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

Book Bloggers and Reviewers

heart
Heart by Nghiem Vo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0

 

I am a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association. I am also a member of their blogging team. At the end of last year I was invited to launch a new monthly blogging series on the RNA blog interviewing book bloggers and reviewers.

The latest in the series went live earlier this week and I am attaching a link below so you can take a look.

http://romanticnovelistsassociationblog.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/book-bloggers-and-reviewers-anne.html

My guest was Anne Williams from Being Anne http://beinganne.com

Book bloggers are a vital part of the world of books and Anne was a fab guest, giving us an interesting insight into her life as a book blogger.

 

The Beauty of Forgiveness

We have all been in situations were people have treated us harshly. Sometimes we deserved it. Sometimes we didn’t. It is only natural that we are going to react defensively when we perceive someone is attacking us, even if it is only with words. Our heart rate increases, our blood pressure goes up and anger kicks in.

But this is not a state of mind or body we should hang on to. Holding on to old hurts, nursing those grievances for weeks, months or even years, is always going to hurt us more than it will ever hurt the perpetrators of the original hurt.

Forgiveness
Forgiveness by Susan Ackeridge courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/GgrwVn https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

We cannot all exhibit saintliness and constantly react well to bad situations but the art of moving on quickly is the key to our own health and happiness. Nurturing anger, jealousy or hate will only reverberate negatively within us. Make peace with your anger and let it go. Try to understand that the person or people who have done you wrong were probably hurting themselves, lashing out at whatever was in front of them, weighed down by their own troubles. Few people in the world are truly evil. Most have simply had the odds stacked against them since birth and are overburdened by the memories of traumas we could not imagine unless we walked in their shoes.

Forgive2
Forgive by MeganLynette courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/8Rjhee https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength.

Evolution of a Cover

My summer release, White Lies, will be published on 27th June.

This is my second, full length novel, following on from my debut The Flower Seller which was released last year.

I loved the cover my cover designer came up with for The Flower Seller. The very talented Berni Stevens http://www.bernistevensdesign.com/

the-flower-seller-cover-small
http://Author.to/EllieHolmes

For White Lies, I asked her to come up with a cover that would help me to build a brand. I wanted something that would be recognisably an “Ellie Holmes cover”.   Pinning down that elusive idea was never going to be easy. We made a few false turns on the way but I thought you might find it useful to see where we started and where we finished up.

In order to build the brand we used the same font for my name and the title of the book but not the same colours – hard to use cerise pink for the title when the book is called White Lies. We also used an image of a woman walking away as another echo of The Flower Seller.White Lies Contact Sheet 1

My two favourites were the lower two images. I love the autumnal colours of the image on the left but I was initially drawn to the image on the right. We almost went for the summer image but at the last minute I became worried that it was too similar to The Flower Seller.

I wanted to build a brand, remember but The Flower Seller and White Lies are stand alone stories. They may be set in the same location and feature some of the same places and minor characters but they are not part of a series. I was concerned that if I went for the summer cover it was actually too much like The Flower Seller and readers may think I was indicating the books were part of a series. This brand building stuff is complicated!

It took four more contact sheets of the lower two images, with various tweaks along the way, before we finally hit on a version that worked. I think when a reader sees The Flower Seller and White Lies side by side they will identify a brand through the fonts and the figure but not be misled into thinking they are part of a series. I hope so, anyway.

Here is my new cover. I love it. What do you think?

White Lies
White Lies by Ellie Holmes

Seize the Day

At the moment, in my part of the UK, we are being blessed with wonderful weather. Anyone who knows the British weather will know this situation is unlikely to last and we will all probably be shivering into our thermals within days. But, right now, it is lovely.

As is usually the case, I woke up today with twenty-one hundred things to do but when a nice day comes along it is important to seize it and make the most of it. So beyond writing this blog, my stuff to do list is on hold for a day.

My puppy, Willow, and I have been on a long walk across the fields near our home – blissful peace and quiet, rolling countryside bright with sunshine and the only sounds were the very distant whisper of traffic, the occasional dog bark and loudest of all beautiful birdsong.

Countryside
The Ridgeway by Dave_S. courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/eEr2pb https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Now back, a long afternoon and evening stretches ahead of us in which we will both spend time pottering in the garden which is a mass of spring colours. Later we will relax, either outdoors or on the comfy sofa in the sun lounge, me reading a good book, Willow, nearby having a snooze. ! daresay a glass of something chilled may also be consumed. By me not her!

Glass of wine
Glass of wine by fauxto_digit courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/89PXSg https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

Slow Sunday? Yep. I deserve it.

I bet you do, too.

 

Awesome Indies Approved!

I don’t often use my blog to talk about my achievements when it comes to my writing – it’s usually my sounding board when things are going less well!

On this occasion however I have decided to change things up.

My debut novel The Flower Seller was released in June 2016. I worked hard to make The Flower Seller the best version of the book it could possibly be. As an indie author I was keen for my novel to stand out so I put a lot of thought and effort into how the cover would look and engaged a fabulous cover designer to assist. Step forward the wonderful Berni Stevens http://www.bernistevensdesign.com/index.htm

I also made sure I didn’t stint when it came to the story inside the covers – I worked with an editor and a proof reader to make sure the book was as well presented as it could be.

It was at this stage of the process that I became aware of Awesome Indies. If you are unfamiliar with them here is a link to their site http://www.awesomeindies.net/

Their Mission Statement as stated on their site is as follows:-

“Our editors award the Awesome Indies Badge of Approval to indie books that meet mainstream standards of quality. Readers buy our books safe in the knowledge that every one is a professional product. We are the unique voices of quality independent fiction.” Tahlia Newland, founder.

Their approval is the equivalent of a Kite Mark of quality.

Details of how to submit your novel for consideration are given below:-

http://www.awesomeindies.net/for-authors/submissions/

I approached one of the AI Assessors, Debbie Young, to see if she would be willing to read and review The Flower Seller. She kindly agreed and you can read her review here:-

https://debbieyoungsbookblog.com/2016/09/07/the-flower-seller-by-ellie-holmes/

Having received the requisite level of review from Debbie, I was able to formally submit to Awesome Indies and see whether my novel could achieve the necessary second high scoring review.

I am proud to say that The Flower Seller has achieved that and has therefore been granted Awesome Indie Status. You can read the second review here:-

http://www.awesomeindies.net/awesome-indies-approved-the-flower-seller-by-ellie-holmes/

Whilst it is nice to be independent, it is still wonderful to be given the approval of your peers.

And I believe anything that can distinguish good quality, well produced indie books from those that are thrown on to the market with very little thought or care has to be a good thing for all writers and particularly for all readers. Don’t you agree?

the-flower-seller-cover-small
http://Author.to/EllieHolmes

Book Bloggers and Reviewers

heart
Heart by Nghiem Vo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0

I am a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association. I am also a member of their blogging team. At the end of last year I was invited to launch a new monthly blogging series on the RNA blog interviewing book bloggers and reviewers.

The latest blog in the series went live earlier this week and I am attaching a link below so you can take a look, if you wish.

http://romanticnovelistsassociationblog.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/book-bloggers-and-reviewers-anne-cater.html

My guest was Anne Cater from the wonderfully named blog Random Things Through My Letterbox Blog

Anne’s blog is a finalist for the UK Blog Awards in the Arts and Culture category and I wish Anne all the very best for the awards next month.

Book bloggers are a vital part of the world of books and Anne was a fab guest, giving us an interesting insight into the life of a book blogger.