Forgive Yourself

I recently blogged about the Beauty of Forgiveness.

https://ellieholmesauthor.wordpress.com/2017/04/09/the-beauty-of-forgiveness/

That blog spoke about the need to let go of anger and bitterness because nursing old hurts and grievances reverberates negatively within us and ultimately hurts us far more than the original hurt perpetrated against us.

This week I want to talk about forgiveness again but this time a different aspect – forgiving yourself.

We all have instances in our lives where we wish we had said or done something at a particular time but, for whatever reason, we did not. The guilt associated with missed opportunities particularly involving loved ones who are no longer here can be sharp. We know if they were here they would tell us not to worry about it and yet we still beat ourselves up.

Negative Emotions
Emotions Explained by GollyGForce courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/jp8Yf4 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I am not a person who generally holds grudges or nurses bad feelings. I am quick to forgive and yet I do not tend to offer myself the same compassion for my own misdemeanours and transgressions.

Compassion
And May They Rise Up #compassion by Leigh Blackall courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/uwZgLu https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

This is because I hold myself to impossibly high standards. I always expect to excel and should I fall short, I berate myself about it:- I’m not good enough, I didn’t work hard enough etc.,

The trouble is I always reach for the stars and because I am only human, I am consequently setting myself up to fail more often than not. Why is it I always think I can cram so many things into a limited number of hours and wind up feeling tired and dispirited when I haven’t ticked everything off my stuff to do list for instance? Sound familiar?

So I have decided to make a concerted effort not to be so hard on myself in the future, to be a little bit more compassionate and kind to myself as well  as to others. We all fail and make mistakes. It’s how we learn to become better people.

Forgiving myself for such mistakes is a small step but an important one.

Begin Again
Buddha Quote by Hartwig HKD courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0 https://flic.kr/p/dtMGUq https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/
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Love isn’t…

love2jpg
Love by Franck Mahon courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-SA 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/64sSdo      https://goo.gl/OOAQfn

  1. Love isn’t buying petrol station flowers at the last minute
  2. Love isn’t buying chocolates from the supermarket
  3. Love isn’t buying schmaltzy cards
  4. Love isn’t booking a table in an overcrowded and overpriced restaurant
  5. Love isn’t a sentiment to be packaged and wrapped
  6. Love isn’t saying ‘I love you’ because you think it’s what the other person wants to hear
  7. Love isn’t about making a grand gesture whose sole purpose is to get you what you want
  8. Love isn’t something you should ever take for granted
  9. Love isn’t guaranteed for life
  10. Love isn’t easy
love
Love by Carolina Melo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/4mP5Zo         https://goo.gl/VAhsB

Love is…

  1. Love is taking time and making the effort
  2. Love is putting someone else first
  3. Love is action not words
  4. Love is wanting something for someone else more than you want anything for yourself
  5. Love is de-icing a car someone else is going to drive
  6. Love is a lifetime in a heartbeat and a day in the blink of someone’s eye
  7. Love is going to the shops for the person you love because they can’t
  8. Love is stroking someone’s back when they are ill
  9. Love is seeing that film or visiting those relatives when you’d rather be doing something else
  10. Love is twenty-four-seven
love3
Love locked? By Chris Shervey courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/gBeUb3   https://goo.gl/sZ7V7x

Happy Valentine’s Day

 

Thanks for the Memories

memory
Memory by Silvia Vinuales courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-ND 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/6UsiLA   https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

I am grateful for the happy family memories that have been created over the years. Holidays and high days, summer sun and Christmas fun. Warm smiles and laughter and silly jokes. I’m grateful for the way that memories can spring from nowhere brought to the fore by a colour or a smell or a song on the radio and I am once again back there with the wonderful people and pets I have been lucky enough to share my life with.

I’m grateful that I will always have those memories stored away in my subconscious. A treasure trove to call on now some of the sweet souls who helped create them are gone. They will be there to comfort me on the cold days without them, they will help to dry my tears and make me smile again. And I am thankful for that.

Last night I had a dream. It involved close family members, some alive, some not. We were enjoying a day out sightseeing in London. We had a fine time. I can’t recall the places we visited but I remember how happy I felt. I came home with a glossy bag depicting some of London’s most famous landmarks and, bizarrely, a 30% off voucher for afternoon tea!

Whilst I have done ‘the sights’ in London many times over the years and sometimes with members of my family, I have never done it with the exact combination of people who undertook the trip in my dream. I have my memories to thank for creating that and I am grateful.

floating-heart
Heart by Seyed Mostafa Zamani courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/7uZPny      https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/